Why are press releases so universally terrible?
I would like to post my colours to the mast here and admit I am a regular press release writer. Generally, whenever I post something here it’s because I’m about to get sucked into the soul destroying vortex of a press release and need to claw my way out, if only temporarily.
While writing this post, I trawled through many of the press releases I’ve written and I found all the phrases below. None of them mean anything; seriously, nothing.
‘A unique knowledge sharing experience’
‘Efficient and effective’
‘Leaner and stronger’
‘We will succeed through cooperation amongst stakeholders across multiple agencies and by genuinely engaging with the broader industry.’
I need a bath.
It’s hard to get out of the habit of going to these stock phrases and bullshit meanings when writing a press release. Because the content is generally of interest only to the company that’s releasing it, press releases are bland from their very inception. Whack on a sheen of fear from management about any sort of controversy and a press release soon becomes a demonstration in how to block meaning with words.
Someone (Orwell I think) once said don’t use 50 words when 5 will do - press releases are a study in how not to do this. They are written by a committee of interests and finished by someone, like me, who have little or no understanding of what it’s supposed to be saying. When there are twenty opinions that must be heard you lose any real meaning.
So the next time you read a press release, or find an article that has that press release tint all over it, remember that every time I've pressed the send button and released another piece of misinformation into the world I often feel an overwhelming compulsion to stand on my desk and shout to the world ‘It’s lies! All lies! I’m a liar!’
Forgive me, I know exactly what I do.
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